Wherefore art thou, Gavin?

Oh, Gavin. You twat. Like most people who have proper lives I only heard about Gavin Williamson when he managed to hustle himself into the job of Defence Secretary a couple of years ago, judging that Theresa May was at that point so weak she would have let Peter Sutcliffe fill the role if it […]

Fabulous feathery buttered nuts.

If you haven’t seen it already then I think you’re in for a treat. In an age where overhype is apparently the only viable form of cultural currency, all that we usually get in exchange is disappointment, and that leaves us cynical, disillusioned and worst of all with lower standards. Praise be then, to ‘The […]

A big bunch of burnished balls.

If there is one sport that could easily have continued as usual this year, albeit without an audience, then snooker would have been a contender. There’s enough space and very few reasons for any contact whatsoever; the players literally have sticks to keep themselves away from each other. Only one person touches the balls most […]

As easy as BCD.

My my, all this fuss about exam grades. Lots of huffing and a similar amount of puffing and nobody seems to know what to do. Some will have got lucky and ended up with grades slightly better than they deserved and according to a few this means that while they may have once had aspirations […]

I can’t even have cheese?!

I can’t tell you how elated I am to be in Ireland just as it’s reaching another temperature spike back home. I’m only half joking – when it hits 37 celcius at this time of year it is usually heavy heat, stifling, oppressive and unpleasant but instead right now we’re experiencing another day of piddly […]

The ice skating crisis.

I’ve been cycling this morning, the first time I’ve riden a bike since I can’t remember when. Maybe in my late 20’s, which means at least 15 years. Getting back on a bike and riding it was, as the cliche goes, just like riding a bike and memories flooded back of being able to cycle […]

A return to flight.

I’ve just been through Luton Airport and I loved it. Seriously, it was wonderful. Refreshing. Even adorable. Couldn’t complain, couldn’t have been happier, in an aiport sense. I don’t think I’ve had a more pleasant airport experience in my life and that counts for a lot considering this is the Luton one. A few years […]

Battle of the ants.

I’ll tell you who’s not so hot at social distancing. Ants, that’s who. Bloody ants. All over the place. All over each other. Obviously an ants nest would be impractical if they had to socially distance to the tune of 2 metres, but they should at least work out what 2 metres is in ant […]

Like a happy hamster.

Brighter. That’s what I think I promised at the end of this morning’s post. Something a bit brighter. Perhaps less dark might work better. Forget the end of the world, just wipe it from your mind. Might never happen. I’m moving on with my life and by that I mean I’ve just come back from […]

Apocalypse in a bit.

I hope you didn’t book two weeks on the cheap in Spain to soothe your furrowed post lockdown brow and then decided to go to the press to deliver a sob story about the re-imposition of self quarantining when you got back. That would make you very silly indeed. You can’t take one risk without […]