Scraping The Bottom Of The Bowel.

Warning: this post contains references to the magical world of bowel cancer screening and all the glitter and fluff that comes with it. One of the best gifts you can receive on turning fifty is an invitation to have your colon analysed. As if it’s not bad enough having to start the second (and almost […]

Total Eclipse Of My Arse.

It seems rather cruel that Bonnie Tyler was robbed of the chance to see an eclipse of the sun. She came so close, but then a rather nasty sounding illness, followed by a coma, followed by not a lot of anything else that’s good for you finally put her to sleep. She was famously Welsh […]

Garden Centre Celebrity.

I saw Martin Kemp in a garden centre the other day. In trying times you really must hold on to these little wins. Perhaps calling it a win is a step too far, but going to the garden centre and seeing Martin Kemp is surely a slightly more satisfying experience than going to a garden […]

Eating Watching People Eating.

I find that watching people eat is a source of perpetual strain. The natural response to this would be, obviously, to stop watching people eat, but that is easier said than done. If I am sitting alone with nothing but my thoughts and a pair of underpants for company then I can see that it […]

The Boys Are Back In Town. Again.

By the measure of overwhelming rational opinion The Rolling Stones haven’t released a decent album since 1981, with ‘Tattoo You’. It is by no means a classic, but it does contain a handful of songs, albeit most of them originally started many years prior, which still hinted at a band that knew how to cook […]

A Little Whiff of Freedom.

I haven’t written anything since the 8th of February. Well, that’s not quite true. I have written stuff, but it hasn’t been posted, and that’s because it hasn’t been any good. And it hasn’t been any good because it’s not been finished, and when things don’t get finished it’s usually a sign that they were […]

Mucking About In Fountains.

That’s how the joke goes: what’s the difference between goldfish and goats? Goldfish like to muck about in fountains. You can do the rest. You’ll have to because when it comes to writing I may as well be semi-retired; which as far as you’re concerned is probably half way towards never hearing from me ever […]

A Box Of Delights.

If I could sum up 2025 in a nutshell I’d have to say it’s not been my favourite year. If I could sum it up better I’d say it’s been a bit whiffy and rather a lot of effort to digest. And if I wanted to sum 2025 up with the full use and impact […]

My Poor, Poor Ears.

The other morning I switched radio stations in the car and I think I heard a duet between Jon Bon Jovi and Robbie Williams. I mean, it came up on the screen, so it must have been true. First it was Jon Bon Jovi singing. He’s been bigging himself up a lot lately because he […]

Unspooked.

There was a time when Halloween was scary. Well, as scary as a load of old made up rubbish can be. But those days are long gone. Gangs of feral children no longer seem to roam the streets at night (as I’m fairly sure they did in my youth) with very little of an agenda […]