Yacht Rock Bottom.

There’s only one setback to owning a luxury yacht, which is that everyone except you will think you are an arsehole with a luxury yacht. Even your friends, who you might invite to stay on your luxury yacht, will look around and think: ‘this is nice but, oh boy, what an arsehole’. A luxury car […]

Post Olympic Blues.

So that’s it. All over. No more summer Olympics for another four years. Some bright spark had the idea of awarding the next games to Los Angeles, a city which will very probably be on fire by the time we get to 2028, so you never know, this could be the last summer Olympics we’ll […]

The Best Film Ever (Part I).

I read a book by Quentin Tarantino recently. It was called Cinema Speculation. Tarantino is a film maker I have always respected, almost admire, but never truly learned to love. His films contain many of the things which make cinema such a powerful and wonderful art form (and cinema is unarguably an artform – take […]

Wheelie Wacists.

It says something about the sorry state of the world in 2024 that the streets of Britain can be filled with hatred, fire, venom, violence and, inevitably, idiots for an entire week and yet it somehow doesn’t seem to be all that disturbing. Naturally, I write this from the perspective of someone who hasn’t seen […]

Olympic Trials.

I’ve been looking forward to the Olympics for quite a while now. Certainly they were higher up on my agenda than the European Cup, though both these events share the distinct advantage of being available to watch on channels everybody can watch. As a rule I find it a step too far to have to […]

An Indian Bummer.

According to the World Bank (question: who has an account with the World Bank?) 11.9% of the population of India live in poverty. But that only applies if you agree with the World Bank’s measure of poverty, which is any person who lives on less than $2.15 a day (a figure that one can simply […]

The Fact Hunt.

It’s scary to think that we’re only a day away from a general election. I don’t know about you, and I can’t possibly imagine in what direction you’re leaning, but I hope you have at least decided who you’re going to vote for, or rather which party; because of any general election in my lifetime […]

Balls, Beer, Bagpipes and Bullshit.

I know what you’re thinking. Where can I watch a man stand up and above in the middle of a crowd and openly snort cocaine to the cheers of his adoring audience? Where can I watch an inebriated grown man clutching a plastic bag stuffed with cans of lager climb on top of a bus […]

On D-Day.

Written in haste, but full of admiration. The human body is a wonderful thing. It is waterproof, flexible, blessed (in some cases) with a formidable brain and capable of resisting all sorts of things, some by accident and others entirely on purpose, and if we really are all designed in God’s image then God must […]

Reasons To Abstain.

When Rishi Sunak stepped out into Downing Street last week and strode forcefully up to the lectern to announce a date for his impending redundancy he had clearly given it a lot of thought. He had written a lovely speech, full of power and persuasion, which craftily skipped past his recent track record and instead […]