Greaty 80’s

Forgive the title. It came up with it. I’ve had it for years. I bought it second hand but never bothered to give it a proper go, which is why this morning, as I went about my research, I put on ‘Sulk’ by The Associates. Not half bad really and I never knew they did […]

70’s Rule.

A (welcome?) diversion from the usual, because I have to be positive about something. I started this as a little indulgence on my favourite albums of all time. Then I realised that almost all of them were from the 70’s. Then I went to the shops for some ridiculous curry ingredients we’ll only use once […]

Channel Tunnel Vision.

It’s probably just me. I would have thought most people have meaningful things to do with their lives rather than sit whinging at the TV like a simpleton recreating ‘Gogglebox’ without the cameras. Normally ITV would occupy the bottom spot on my list of crappiest big TV channels but recently they have somehow managed to […]

Floater in a tin can.

Do you believe in second chances? Generally I don’t think much of them, unless I’m on the receiving end, in which case I should be forgiven far more often. I only mention this because a second chance was offered to me on a plate today and if you’re reading this then you are quite literally […]

I get knocked down. Good.

One of the great frailties of the mind is the subconscious ability to pick up on a tune from nowhere and then run it round your head a million times until it’s marginally less enjoyable than being water boarded. With piss. It doesn’t even matter if it’s an absolute belter of a tune, sooner or […]

Fitter, Brighter, Brit-er, Shitter.

I wanted to do this last year. In fact I did start one last year, which I might publish in unedited form just to see if it works. If I remember rightly the core was a blast at Sheeran and Sam Smith. Because they’re both a bit shit. Actually, sorry, Sheeran’s a bit shit and […]

Reflections on a shitty week.

I have been ill all week. I picked up a cold at the end of last week, just as I was about to have a week off and it has stayed with me ever since. We have, in that time, been to France and on a 2 night spa/hotel break (both lovely experiences) and I […]

Who’d like a good Feltzing?

I have a week day wake up routine which can only really be described as Wallace-esque. By this I mean it is full of little gizmo packed peculiarities, not that I wake up realising I’m trapped in a crap marriage with a small, disappointing man who singularly failed to do the one thing I was […]

500 words (give or take)

It is 4 o’clock on a Saturday morning and I’ve come downstairs to write. I can’t stay long because I should be sleeping. I can’t sleep because I woke up to go for a wee. I woke up to go for a wee because the cat decided to plonk her hairy arse right between my […]

The best laid schemes…….yadda, yadda…..

‘The best laid schemes’ wrote an over-celebrated Scottish poet, ‘of mice and men gang aft a-gley’, and in this at least he was exposing a modicum of sense. Basically, what he was trying to get at was that shit happens, whether you like it or not. Perhaps if he had just expressed things more simply, […]