Four wheeled fool.

I’m in the process, the grubby, thoroughly dissatisfying process of buying a car at the moment. I was not born to cope with the negotiations and labyrinthine unwritten rules of buying a car and nor was I born to be the sort to win against a salesman. Such is my utter lack of stomach for […]

A dressage message.

Warning: contains needless profanity, because it needs it. I told you I’d be watching quite a lot of sport now the Olympic Games have started. I’ve stayed up late, once by accident and once on purpose, to watch various stages of two triathlons. I’ve watched people swimming up and down in straight lines for quite […]

All eyes on Qatar.

Now that the dust has settled on the not really all that tragic at all tragedy of not winning the European Cup it is surely time to look forward and be positive. After all it’s the first time we’ve nearly done as well as we did 55 years ago, and in terms of nearly doing […]

Turning to Japan.

Lately I’ve been thinking about Japan more than I usually do, which is to say I’ve been thinking about Japan instead of not thinking about Japan. Before you get your knickers in a twist I’m not referring to the moody, new wave art-fop band called Japan, fronted by David Sylvian and his haircut of choice; […]

No f in freedom.

I have it on good (well, I’m not sure good is the right word) authority that tomorrow is ‘Freedom Day’. Forgive me for not expressing myself with absolute, undiluted glee. I don’t know who gave it that name but I hope that already they are in the corner, facing the wall and feeling very sorry […]

Wet as you like.

I have been a competent swimmer for almost all of my life. I couldn’t humour you with an exact age, but roughly sometime before I was eight I could hold my own in a swimming pool and as the old cliche goes – learning to swim is like learning to ride a bike, only wetter […]

Coney Island Baby.

Lough Neagh is the biggest fresh water lake in Europe. That’s what the Northern Irish will tell you, with just a hint of pride. Look on Wikipedia however and it turns out they might be talking a bit of crap, because there Lough Neagh is ranked as merely the 33rd largest lake in Europe. Perhaps […]

Making balls history.

Poised. That’s a good word to describe the mighty England football team right now. Poised between two towering moments in history. This is surely what history is all about, and many hundreds of years from now old men will sit their gawping grand children in front of them and spin a hushed yarn all about […]

On defrosting.

After weeks of putting it off I decided that today would be the day the freezer got a seeing to. Defrosting the freezer is undoubtedly one the crappiest jobs you can do in the kitchen, along with, at a push, cleaning the oven, scrubbing the bottom of the filter in the dishwasher and carving up […]

Pickity pick.

At 5.30pm yesterday I didn’t much like the idea of picking my own fruit. I still didn’t like the idea this morning as I crawled out of bed with a head as heavy as my heart. I clung to the hope that it would be rained off but Wifey seemed to have already made a […]