How smart is smart?

At least the snow has timed it right for once: most of us aren’t allowed to leave the house and now most of us can’t leave the house. It’s probably a good thing because in these kinds of conditions everyday actions can be treacherous. Just take driving; it’s in conditions like this that you wouldn’t […]

Random bag of bits.

When in doubt you can always read the news for a good dose of dozy. Allow me to guide you around a few gems from today. As if to prove that people can’t be sensible regardless of how many old people are dropping dead we have a 400 strong wedding party broken up by police. […]

Moody Blues.

You would think there might be more important things to consider in this dark time we’re going through. Monday wasn’t just Monday but rather the mythical ‘Blue Monday’: the worst, most depressing and soulless day of the year, according to the calculations of a few bods with too much time on their hands. What they […]

Not much out of nothing.

I can’t think of anything to write. It’s becoming a serious problem. Seriously. Well, that’s a slight exaggeration because you could write about anything at all but the trick is to make it worth reading. So what I really mean is I can’t think of anything to write about that is worth your time and […]

Son of a fu*@ing lockdown.

For fuck’s sake. Or as those pesky acronym monkeys would have it – FFS! Stupid people everywhere. Shall we just pop out to Regent’s Street to see the Christmas lights? Yes, let’s, I bet no one else will be bothering. And there you have it. A month later and we’re in another bloody, fucking lockdown […]

On New Year’s Eve.

I am writing this on a new laptop. It arrived yesterday and is a treat from myself to myself for getting through the year without developing a temperature or persistent cough, whilst also maintaining a reasonably robust sense of smell and taste; it’s hard to believe when you watch the news that people like me […]

On music at Christmas.

Don’t get too down in the dumps, it will all soon be over. I’m not talking about Brexit, and certainly not the other thing, but instead a befoulment of the senses that keeps coming back, again and again and again; like a boomerang made of shit – the music. The music at Christmas. God almighty […]

The night before…..

There’s little doubt that this has been a pretty shit year. However, when it is compared to other pretty shit years in history it won’t win because in the scheme of things it could be a lot worse: for instance, if you think living in London in 2020 must have been tough just imagine living […]

Neither Tier Nor There.

If you want to know where all the vegetables are, we’ve got them. The same goes for the wine, the gin and the tonic, and then of course all the presents. I reckon we must have all the presents because our little house is crammed full of the things. Bags of nicely wrapped Christmas goodies, […]

The joy of dentistry.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth having teeth. It goes without saying that they greatly aid the process of mastication and digestion and they’re quite good for biting fingernails too, but beyond that they seem such a flashy inconvenience. They rot, they hurt, they need constant attention and they are another expense that one could […]