Pity the poor white celebrity.

I gave up on Comic Relief quite some time ago. To be honest it was never really very good. Good if you’re a nice person with no proper sense of humour, who is scarily easy to entertain, but not much good to anyone else. I wrote out many of my thoughts on Comic Relief a […]

Flossing with Shane McGowan.

This week Wifey has been drawn into a programme on ITV about Beluga whales. Of course it’s not really about Beluga whales, it’s about John Bishop, because why else would you think of Beluga whales? If it was really about Beluga whales then it could be presented by me, or you, or indeed anyone else […]

Stale bread.

The general mood of my recent existence has been about as buoyant as a heavy stool. There is too much to worry about and too much to do, not to mention additionally worrying about all those things there are to do and the way that one has to do them without risking ones own life. […]

A bitter Gill to swallow.

Actually I’m not really that bitter. There must have been plenty of good competition, and there is also always the chance that I am either way ahead of, or more likely way behind, my time. Still, I thought my entry to the Sunday Times AA Gill Food Writing competition wasn’t half bad; better than last […]

Rats Life.

Magawa is a hero. He wasn’t born that way. Little did he know as he suckled on his mother’s teats that one day he would be regarded as a saviour. An angel of mercy. A preventer of untimely death. It is to heroes like Magawa that we must tip a respectful hat and thank for […]

Brighton breezy.

You simply must go to Brighton, you’ll have such fun. Oh, we love Brighton! That’s what they say, isn’t it? Goody two-shoes Brighton, couldn’t get it wrong if it tried. Happiest place in Britain to live, apparently. Except for the homeless and grim of face; they didn’t look too happy, and there were more than […]

You’d better not pout….

In terms of work ethic I sit safely somewhere between the super eager beaver and the bone idle. I’ll work hard when I need to and I try not to worry when I don’t. It’s an approach that has so far served me reasonably well. I know that the top dogs in the government get […]

Saturday night at the movies.

The Odeon cinema complex in Hatfield has one major flaw, which is that it is in Hatfield. Put it almost anywhere else other than, say, Basra airport, and I’m sure the experience would be lifted. In fact that is an insult to Basra, its airport and its people because Hatfield does seem to attract some […]

Wee and flaxseed.

Who needs a detox? Me, apparently. The first thing to say is that I am sufficiently weak minded to both need a detox and to be talked into doing one. That is a given. Unfortunately the fact also remains that I am weak minded enough to struggle to stick with a detox and it is […]

Harry and Meghan: stars of the screen.

Because the world has nothing better to be doing it has been announced that Harry and Meghan, the Mr and Mrs of Need No Introductions, have signed what is doubtless a very lucrative deal with Netflix. I imagine the negotiations were a barrel of laughs with Harry nervously twiddling his thumbs as Meghan, wearing a […]