One out, one in.

There’s a sign outside my local Co-Op that slurs “ONE IN ONE OUT”. That’s it, just that and all the other well intentioned yet ineffective social distancing crap that shops around the land have had to employ over the last 4 months. Aisle arrows and patronising Tannoy announcements, that kind of thing. But that little […]

J K Rowling And The Furnace Of Opinion.

What if I were to buy a pair of flippers and put them on? What if I were to then shake my arse about on a regular basis and adopt a diet of frozen peas and bits of stale bread? What if I decided to communicate orally solely through a series of quacking noises? What […]

Shit list.

Finding myself with no ideas I thought the best way to come up with something to write about would be to type ‘things to write about’ into a familiar search engine and see what came up. There is something quite sad about having to resort to looking for ideas from other writers who you would […]

Rotting in the sun.

On the M25, as I drive home, a dead dog has appeared. It lies just next to the fast lane and while it may possibly be a deer I’m almost certain it’s a dog. Laid out on its side, left legs raised up and belly exposed to the oncoming traffic it was a point of […]

The spaces between us.

So we’ll have to wait a few more days but at least by then we’ll know if the government have decided to ease the 2 metre distancing rule which hardly anybody is following anymore, and that’s working on the assumption that they ever did. It’s a big decision, except that when you think about it […]

Liable to make you drowsy.

Last night we finished watching a drama about the Salisbury poisonings. It was called ‘The Salisbury Poisonings’, which in a way tells you roughly how exciting it turned out to be. I’m not a great one for TV drama because most of those that I have watched over the years either tend to be pretty […]

A mess. A right mess.

What a mess. As any halfwit could have predicted the gathering of anti-racists in large numbers achieved one thing before all others and that was to wind up and coax out (or rather dredge up, and not as if they needed much persuasion) the right wing to make a big mess even messier. The right […]

On Bob Dylan.

I’ve just been counting my Bob Dylan CDs. I thought it would be a good idea, just to see how big a link there is between how much one can love a musician and the amount of money one is prepared to spend collecting their material. The link is quite strong, it turns out. Fancy […]

Not The Same.

So, this is what lockup feels like. I’m using the word literally as an opposite to lockdown, but as you can see it doesn’t really look like a step in the right direction. Unlock? Breakout? Call it what you want but we’re finally starting to get back a few of the little freedoms that punctuated […]

Cummings through a squeeze.

It occurred to me this morning, as I lay awake in bed desperately trying to think of something to occur to me, that cave diving is insane. Not that it hadn’t occurred to me before. When I was revising for my GCSE’s I would manage to get myself distracted by almost anything: Junior Kick Start, […]