Thanks, Coco. But I’d rather not.

What on earth is going on with the world? Why is everyone so insistent on changing things? I know that the old ‘if it ain’t broke’ saying doesn’t and shouldn’t always apply, but surely we should let some things stay the same. Just for comfort. Just for the sake of nostalgia. Just because they’re better […]

The perils of freedom.

“What’s wrong darling? You seem especially tortured and pensive tonight, yet grizzled and manly nevertheless. Is something the matter?” “Not really, well, I don’t know. It’s just that I did a big interview today with a newspaper to promote my latest film which involves another caricature of myself as a man seeking vigilante justice.” “Yes, […]

The Eagle Had Landed. Allegedly.

Marriage can be a funny thing. Sunday mornings should be sacred, only not necessarily in a religious way. This Sunday just gone (which is when I started this) I was woken early because ‘the wife’ was off to see her mother. I have to go with her once in a while, an experience which frequently […]

They ain’t pretty but they hear real well.

£5.99. That’s what it cost me. £5.99 on Amazon, with a free download too. An introduction to the greatest guitar player I’d never heard before. I’d heard of him, I read a lot in these areas, but in my stubborn little way I’d never bothered to give him a try. He was once labelled the […]

What a life #3 – The Member of Parliament.

Taking it the next logical step downwards– from drug cartel member to repressed, depressed coach driver to Member of Parliament. Why Member of Parliament? Because they’re supposed to represent us and they’ve been all over the news every day for the last 3 years but as far as I can discern not one of them […]

For the love of John Cale.

Shortly after writing about my funeral songs t’other day I headed back to the gym and within 20 minutes I realised I had missed some obvious choices that would have worked brilliantly. I say would, I’m still alive, so what I really mean is that they will work brilliantly. A good example would be ‘Someone’s […]

A mild digression.

New Year’s resolutions are, by and large, utterly futile. I can’t recall any that I’ve made that have crawled beyond January and that’s not just because I have all the willpower of a lady with substantial bones in a cake shop. Hey, it’s the 21st century – it could just as well be a bloke. […]

Peeling away to 2019.

A New Year quickie. A palette cleanser. An opening salvo to a year that doesn’t look to promise very much. Don’t thank me now, you haven’t read it yet. I know what you’re thinking. How on earth am I going to make 2019 a good year for my skin? Obviously you don’t care about my […]

I’m certainly not to blame.

I could have easily started with an update on my funeral music, now that I’ve had some time to mull things over (fast approaching pun material intended), but that will have to wait for now. You see the most pressing thing in my life at the moment is Christmas. But I don’t necessarily mean that […]

Songs to die (be)for(e).

I go to the gym quite a lot these days. Not quite obsessive a lot but certainly more than I used to. Besides being the only truly effective hangover cure exercise gives me a chance to switch off and wallow in my own dark thoughts. The gym is not the planet around which my entire […]