Balls, Beer, Bagpipes and Bullshit.

I know what you’re thinking. Where can I watch a man stand up and above in the middle of a crowd and openly snort cocaine to the cheers of his adoring audience? Where can I watch an inebriated grown man clutching a plastic bag stuffed with cans of lager climb on top of a bus […]

On D-Day.

Written in haste, but full of admiration. The human body is a wonderful thing. It is waterproof, flexible, blessed (in some cases) with a formidable brain and capable of resisting all sorts of things, some by accident and others entirely on purpose, and if we really are all designed in God’s image then God must […]

Reasons To Abstain.

When Rishi Sunak stepped out into Downing Street last week and strode forcefully up to the lectern to announce a date for his impending redundancy he had clearly given it a lot of thought. He had written a lovely speech, full of power and persuasion, which craftily skipped past his recent track record and instead […]

A Pesky Little Bump.

Some bloke went into the back of me the other day. I was waiting at lights, on my way to an important appointment (well, quite important, it is only me after all) when the driver of the vehicle behind me clearly decide that he wanted his front number plate to kiss my back number plate. […]

Bollotics.

We are, in case you hadn’t noticed, all drifting towards the inevitable doom of a domestic political oblivion. It’s true. I’d say don’t worry about it too much, but it might be an idea to keep one eye open when you sleep, just in case the mucky fallout from all this incompetence washes up directly […]

Cod Almighty!

Whether you agree with me or not is a matter of complete irrelevance. It doesn’t change a thing. Ed Sheeran needs to shush. The critics that favour his style of insipid, pop-pants inconsequence may rave about how he builds up loops of sound using his special peddle as a foundation for his next set of […]

A Day At The Races.

I’m thinking about putting a few quid on The Grand National. Not that I’ll put it on myself, because I haven’t got the faintest idea how to bet on a horse, a dog, a pigeon or a hedgehog, but rather what I’ll do is decide on a horse based on absolutely no evidence that they’re […]

The Drop Zone Of Interest.

It is best to leave the big questions to the clever people. They can ask why we’re here and what life is for. They can try to find the answer to the questions of existence, death and everything in between. They can philosophize about religion, war and love until long after the cows have come […]

Sleep tight.

I’m tired. I’m tired of being told how much sleep I should be having. It makes me anxious and then I can’t sleep properly, and to be honest there are already enough obstacles that get lodged in between me and a solid nights sleep; none of them good, before you ask. Sadly, we live in […]

Another Year of The Usual Brit.

To be honest, by the time The Brits hove into view yesterday evening I was both very refreshed and not in the least bit fresh whatsoever. When The Brits were on a weekday evening, usually a Tuesday, or at least I think it was a Tuesday, one had to be careful as to the style […]