Wheelie Wacists.

It says something about the sorry state of the world in 2024 that the streets of Britain can be filled with hatred, fire, venom, violence and, inevitably, idiots for an entire week and yet it somehow doesn’t seem to be all that disturbing. Naturally, I write this from the perspective of someone who hasn’t seen […]

Olympic Trials.

I’ve been looking forward to the Olympics for quite a while now. Certainly they were higher up on my agenda than the European Cup, though both these events share the distinct advantage of being available to watch on channels everybody can watch. As a rule I find it a step too far to have to […]

An Indian Bummer.

According to the World Bank (question: who has an account with the World Bank?) 11.9% of the population of India live in poverty. But that only applies if you agree with the World Bank’s measure of poverty, which is any person who lives on less than $2.15 a day (a figure that one can simply […]

The Fact Hunt.

It’s scary to think that we’re only a day away from a general election. I don’t know about you, and I can’t possibly imagine in what direction you’re leaning, but I hope you have at least decided who you’re going to vote for, or rather which party; because of any general election in my lifetime […]

Balls, Beer, Bagpipes and Bullshit.

I know what you’re thinking. Where can I watch a man stand up and above in the middle of a crowd and openly snort cocaine to the cheers of his adoring audience? Where can I watch an inebriated grown man clutching a plastic bag stuffed with cans of lager climb on top of a bus […]

On D-Day.

Written in haste, but full of admiration. The human body is a wonderful thing. It is waterproof, flexible, blessed (in some cases) with a formidable brain and capable of resisting all sorts of things, some by accident and others entirely on purpose, and if we really are all designed in God’s image then God must […]

Reasons To Abstain.

When Rishi Sunak stepped out into Downing Street last week and strode forcefully up to the lectern to announce a date for his impending redundancy he had clearly given it a lot of thought. He had written a lovely speech, full of power and persuasion, which craftily skipped past his recent track record and instead […]

A Pesky Little Bump.

Some bloke went into the back of me the other day. I was waiting at lights, on my way to an important appointment (well, quite important, it is only me after all) when the driver of the vehicle behind me clearly decide that he wanted his front number plate to kiss my back number plate. […]

Bollotics.

We are, in case you hadn’t noticed, all drifting towards the inevitable doom of a domestic political oblivion. It’s true. I’d say don’t worry about it too much, but it might be an idea to keep one eye open when you sleep, just in case the mucky fallout from all this incompetence washes up directly […]

Cod Almighty!

Whether you agree with me or not is a matter of complete irrelevance. It doesn’t change a thing. Ed Sheeran needs to shush. The critics that favour his style of insipid, pop-pants inconsequence may rave about how he builds up loops of sound using his special peddle as a foundation for his next set of […]