Anti- semantics.

There’s a big wet slap of a crisis splattered across the news about anti-Semitism just about right now. I’ll say one thing for the anti-Semites. They’re fucking idiots. And I’ll say one thing for the Semites too. They’re fucking idiots. While I’m at it I’ll say one thing for myself as well. I’m a fucking idiot. Everyone is a fucking idiot and, sad as it is to say, we’re such idiots that we don’t even know we’re being idiots; we just trump (patron saint of idiots) around assuming that what we say and do is the right thing and that everything our ancestors did must have been right too. Dwindle too long on the past and you’re in trouble of forgetting that you’re fucking up the future, whether you like it or not. If the Labour Party was filled with secret, seething Jew haters what difference would it actually make? Roughly 99% of active, serving politicians are self-serving, greed-riddled, egotistical arse rags and we only vote for the ones we vote for because they appear to be slightly less shit than the other lot. Not that I agree with Russell Brand’s views on avoiding voting altogether either. If I had to vote I would vote that Russell Brand is a dick. Probably one of the biggest wastes of oxygen ever, especially since he decided to stop being minimally funny and started to pretend he was clever.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this but I’d better be careful because you might start thinking I’m anti-Semitic, which I most certainly am not. True, I’m not overly impressed with the some of the darker corners of Jewish history and doubtless they meet regularly to discuss my most embarrassing moments. I’m not really very keen on almost all the shitty things people have done to each other since we shuffled out of caves but we are where we are as a result of some of them. For better or worse, in sickness and in health etc. This doesn’t mean anyone should be putting their hands up to being perfect. Take Lord Levy for instance. He has a very valid point about the dangers of anti-Semites lurking in the corridors of political power but we should remember that he was the creep that helped make Tony Blair’s wallet, and wife, rather fat but rest assured when I look at him I don’t think he’s a cock because he’s Jewish. I think he’s a cock because he’s a cock.

You can say the same about almost anyone who’s ever had more power than is strictly necessary. Obviously Hitler was a cunt. Only another cunt could think of anything good to say about him. Except that he died a miserable shit. Stalin too. Henry VIII. That silly woman who set up Kids Company. Yentob as well. John Lennon, oh yes. Both Harold and William the Conqueror. The list is very endless. Martin Luther King was, by a lot of accounts, a tosser; shagging his way through a lot of women who weren’t his wife, but he did make the USA the model of inter-racial contentment that it is today (!!) so we should give him a bit of credit. What I’m trying to get at is that the more people try to make other people love them the more they come across as vain, glory-seeking gimps and history doesn’t serve any of that sort well. Jesus might have turned water into wine but rather than keep it to himself he had an entourage of biographers trailing after him and lo ‘Jesus, My Story’ remains a best seller to this day. Mohammed hasn’t done too badly for himself either; people travel from the ends of the earth to literally walk round in circles, just in case they forget who he was.

To conclude then. Anti-Semites are wankers. But, from another point of view, if I were a dirt poor Palestinian, having my family, friends and home blown shitless every few months I wouldn’t be sending Israel a bunch of droopy daffodils and a thank-you card anytime soon either.

Why can’t we all just get on and enjoy this erratic weather together more often?

G B Hewitt. 30.4.2016


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