Alt-whatever.

I’m told it’s quite hard work being funny. Much easier to be serious. Last night on Channel 4 news we were treated to a really special piece on the rise of the ‘alt-right’ movement in the UK. This poor excuse for a streak of urine masquerading as a political movement was kick started in, you guessed it, the US, in 2010 to establish a political outlet for disaffected white nationalist voters. Needless to say there has been quite a lot of effort made to intellectualise the movement lest we idiots mistakenly assume they’re the flag bearer for every far-right, racist, shit-heeled, Neo-Nazi, white supremacist, antifeminist, Islamaphobe, homophobe, screw-top, dick brained moron. It’s not worked.
So the ‘alt-right’ movement is actually pretty much the same as the good old far-right movement only they try to fool people by saying that they’re not because they use a different brand of soap. The whole Trump effect has been that a small and worthless wing of the movement has blossomed in the UK and the feature on the news followed a group of disaffected youths explaining why they thought being an ‘alt-righter’ was a perfectly reasonable state of existence. I cannot possibly question their ‘on paper’ intelligence, even the one wearing the frog mask to hide his identity (it was not lost on me that he might have been better wearing a pussy mask; if you hold such extreme views you should be accountable for them, like me with my fake name) but at 19 and 21 and 23 they just seemed so young to be so wrapped up in ideas that never go anywhere good in the long run. And that made me sad.
You see you can call it whatever you like – nativism or neo-reactionism or right-wing populism or you can just say you’re trying to protect your country and traditional values, but when all that boils away you’re left with a dark, racist, aggressive skid mark of an opinion. The young chap last night may have been very well groomed but he just reminded me of a public school bully; all fake charm until mummy turns her back and then he gives spotty four-eyes a punch in the throat. I’m not saying this nation has a perfect immigration policy but I’d much rather have multiculturalism than some slick teenager, with Burberry underpants and a copy of Mein Kampf tucked in his satchel, calling the shots.
Anyway, it did provide a few minutes of ‘entertainment’ as young Jack Buckby (who is a former BNP member; perhaps he felt they were too touchy-feely for him) talked out of his arse for a bit and then laid into the conveniently located black student (opposition) Barbara Ntumy and within seconds let his true colours shine and sparkle for all to see, all forever captured for the national archives. Next thing you know he’ll be trying to shake hands with Trump and Farage. Though I suspect even they are smart enough to keep well away.
Most people who watched, even old-school daft racists, would probably have been shocked, or at least stopped eating their dinner for a few seconds. Sadly there were probably quite a few ‘lets make believe this will work ‘alt-rights” that cheered and whooped and started stroking their genitals and told the ‘darkie’ (so charming) next door to ‘ piss off where you belong’. Students and the young and impressionable I implore you not to go down the ‘alt-right’ path. If you want a better country get rid of ‘alt-right’ before you start sorting out the migrants.
G B Hewitt
9.2.2017

Hastily written but sincere.

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