Oh Danny. Oh Boy.

A few days ago I finally got round to watching the latest ‘Avengers film’ and I won’t feel embarrassed when I say it was very good and very satisfying and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I may be a snob when it comes to certain corners of our cultural box but I’m not sorry to admit I have been totally engrossed by the ‘Marvel Cinematic Universe’. If all film is escapism in one way or another then this particular universe is where escapism goes to have fun. It is spectacular and attractively chubby and utter nonsense and charming and splendidly cheeky and, like it or not, by the end of the film you really do care. And in an age where Adam Sandler is still making films that is quite an achievement.

One of the trailers was for a new ‘Men In Black’ movie (because why be inventive when you can simply re-invent?) featuring none other than Liam Neeson. You know Liam Neeson, don’t you? The big Irish vigilante that tried to sweep the city streets clean of his own personal scum and then tell everyone about it on national TV. I’ve already written about Liam and the prudence required of modern celebrities in keeping their mouths shut and just taking the massive sacks of money. I assume the film was already a wrap when he cocked up so the studio just figured they may as well release it anyway and hope for the best. I’d be surprised if it doesn’t make at least a little bit of profit. After all, deep down, will it make any difference?

There you go. That’s my two paragraphs of gentle build up to the main thrust of today’s post. Liam was silly but I don’t think he was anything beyond that. Danny Baker isn’t silly, he’s stupid and what makes him even more stupid is that he doesn’t seem to appreciate just how stupid he has just been. Yesterday he sent a message on Twitter to comment on the Royal birth. If you haven’t seen the photo here’s the gist:

“The now deleted tweet, which has been circulated on social media, showed an image of a couple holding hands with a chimpanzee dressed in clothes with the caption: “Royal Baby leaves hospital”.”

According to Danny bloody Baker he was roughly (it’s hard to tell) referring to the whole idea of the baby becoming part of a media circus, a circus that it pains me to point out he was happy to be a part of too. If you sense some kind of injustice at a new born baby being over-scrutinised then perhaps it’s best not to join the crowd in the first place. And if Danny Baker couldn’t see what was coming after posting it then he’s not just stupid; he’s a fucking idiot.

I’m no Telegraph subscribing royalist but I’m perfectly happy for Harry and Meaghan, and what’s more I’d be surprised if they don’t make very good parents. At a time like this it makes a lot more sense to say something nice or say nothing at all. What Danny Baker has done is express an opinion, or rather a very suspect and badly judged observation of his own (which is never strictly a crime), but has somewhat bafflingly failed to appreciate just what a top level clanger he has committed. You’ll be delighted to know that Mr Baker found it in himself to apologise and remove the tweet, albeit after the standard media backside, backfire backlash; but that has not been enough, and earlier today he was fired. And rightly so.

Danny Baker has never been my idea of entertainment. He may talk ten to the dozen and have an opinion on everything (again, neither traits are strictly a crime) but most of what he says doesn’t get much more engaging than having the microwave on in the background. He’s one of those daft people that thinks that having Chris Evans as a friend is some kind of virtue. If he spent less time thinking and talking about himself and his supposed brilliance he might realise there are a whole 24 hours of the day which he could be using to do something else.

If you’re a fan of his then I would recommend you pick up on this story because it seems quite clear that although he has apologised he certainly doesn’t seem to think he has anything to be sorry for, and his further tweets manage to unveil a particular arrogance that lets off a powerful, repugnant smell all of its own. For instance he shot back at the BBC (I’m no fan of the BBC either – this isn’t taking sides)…..

“The call to fire me… was a masterclass of pompous faux-gravity.”

…… and thereby tarnished his former employer with the same shitty brush he uses for himself.


Danny Baker has left the BBC twice before (under two separate, ominous clouds) and on all three occasions it seems to have been because someone has failed to find him consistently amazing and right. Danny Baker is a kind of painful, trapped flatulence that very few people deserve to have. If he can’t get on with the BBC or stop himself from sending a tweet that would look racist to almost anyone with proper eyesight then maybe he shouldn’t get paid by them for talking out of his arse. He’ll be back, no doubt. It takes more than a match to get rid of a bad smell.

G B Hewitt. 09.05.2019

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