Priti by name.

The problem with being called a bully is that once that label is out of the bag it’s very hard to put back in. When someone shows you a photo of a murderer or paedophile or member of The Brexit Party the usual reaction is simply confirmation – “yes, they definitely look like a murderer/paedophile/member […]

It’s Over.

There were over 100,000 divorces in England and Wales last year. Thank goodness for that; finally a statistic that cannot be explained away as ‘due to coronavirus’ I think those couples should proud of themselves. They didn’t need a shitty old pandemic to be sick of the sight of each other – they became sick […]

Rocky road.

So many things to discuss and so little time. Record deaths, ditched exams and the sudden departure of a couple of dodgy rodents from the murkier corners of Downing Street should all warrant a few paragraphs each, but I have other things on my mind; specifically a bunch of rocks. Because that’s all Stonehenge is: […]

Across the pond life.

It’s a bit like when you play a game as a kid and you’re not a great loser and you lose the first time and your immediate response is to suggest a ‘best of three’. That’s what they should do in the American election. Just let Trump keep calling another round until he gets his […]

Culture fix.

Almost every Saturday Review section of The Times has a feature called ‘My Culture Fix’ in which someone related to the arts answers questions about their, er, culture fix. Depending on which branch of the arts we’re talking about the answers can be illuminating, tedious or, much worse, very farty. You can usually tell if […]

Not the best day.

I’m in a foul mood today. A real stinker. A full up dump trunk funk of the highest order. You wouldn’t want me round your house on a day like today; I’d only blacken the mood and then you might not invite me again. Today feels like a new low in a year of lows […]

Pity the poor white celebrity.

I gave up on Comic Relief quite some time ago. To be honest it was never really very good. Good if you’re a nice person with no proper sense of humour, who is scarily easy to entertain, but not much good to anyone else. I wrote out many of my thoughts on Comic Relief a […]

Flossing with Shane McGowan.

This week Wifey has been drawn into a programme on ITV about Beluga whales. Of course it’s not really about Beluga whales, it’s about John Bishop, because why else would you think of Beluga whales? If it was really about Beluga whales then it could be presented by me, or you, or indeed anyone else […]

Stale bread.

The general mood of my recent existence has been about as buoyant as a heavy stool. There is too much to worry about and too much to do, not to mention additionally worrying about all those things there are to do and the way that one has to do them without risking ones own life. […]

A bitter Gill to swallow.

Actually I’m not really that bitter. There must have been plenty of good competition, and there is also always the chance that I am either way ahead of, or more likely way behind, my time. Still, I thought my entry to the Sunday Times AA Gill Food Writing competition wasn’t half bad; better than last […]