Ice Bucket Challenged. Part 3.

And it looks like this. As you may have worked out it’s not so much the charitable part, though charity does underpin it entirely, but the sheer waste of resources and effort involved. God knows how many millions of gallons of water were used up last year globally on this clueless wave of moronic bandwagon […]

Ice Bucket Challenged. Part 2.

……..and breathe out. 3. At this point time will stand still as one gets a chance to consider the container around which the success of the whole challenge orbits. There is no such thing as a truly successful delivery, and no, I’m not going to prove it by doing one, it’s already pretty clear I […]

Ice Bucket Challenged. Part 1.

(If this seems a very belated basket of observations it’s not because I have just been roused from a coma. I wrote this in March or something and there’s really not a lot of point it sitting on my computer wasting vowels and consonants. It’s quite long, which is why its split into parts. And bits of it […]

Unworthy news.

Today’s offering was originally in two parts, the first being a few choice words to articulate my feelings about something horrific that happened yesterday evening. Then ‘the wife’ stepped in and suggested it might be best to isolate that from the rest of this because to stick the two together would be insensitive and inappropriate. […]

Things to celebrate in November.

It has occurred to me of late, having re-read the stuff on this blog several times, wincing at every grammatical error and charmless insult, that one might accuse me of being a bit miserable. That being a grumpy bastard may just be my raisin d’etre. Well I’m thoroughly insulted by that suggestion (that I’ve just […]

Dry it is then. Day 5.

So here we are ending the near of dry day 5. As they sing in Unchained Melody – Time goes by, so slowly, and time can do so much. Can it fuck, I’m gasping for a drink. See you for part 4! G B Burton 5.11.2015

No pain, no gain. Parts 1 to 23.

(Written on a lazy morning this summer to keep Bargain Hunt, Escape to the Country, Dickinson’s Real Deal and general scratching at bay. Did it work? Did it arse.) I woke with ‘the wife’ this morning who then got up and scurried about (like a lovely squirrel, not a rat in a chemical fire) getting […]

Dry it is then. Day 3.

On the third day God woke early with a smile. ‘It’s a Wednesday’ he said to the angels, ‘I’ve nearly broken the back of this one, just get through today then Thursday’s the new Friday and I’m as good as done! Woohoo’. And lo, across all the half-baked, unfinished universe, the angels did echo […]

Dry it is then. Day 1.

It is the 1st of November 2015, Halloween has been and gone. But don’t get excited, your personalised peace and quiet action plan won’t be fully reinstalled until after next weekend when the firework twats finish their utterly pointless work. Domestic pets beware, it’s time for your thick coats to briefly jump off your petrified bodies […]

I am a doughnut. Part 2.

I am a doughnut. Part 2. (I made the mistake of leaving a 3 day gap before finishing this, running out of steam in the process, so if you get two paragraphs, or less, in and think it’s even worse than the normal rubbish that’ll be why. Like the noted philosopher Natalie Imbruglia suggested – […]