Stuff wot I’ve watched lately.

I’m sitting in my living room, an empty side plate by my, er, side, that sports the scant and scattered remains of a slice of toast with salted butter and Vegemite. Of all the things I ever imagined Australians would do well I never imagined that it would be to make something the equal of […]

A wet breakfast.

I’ve got up early, put a wash on and made Wifey a spot of breakfast. That could potentially be all I’ll achieve today and so in an effort to remedy such a depressing prospect the least I can do is throw a few words together for you. In the time it takes to boil an […]

The Grotty Little Ballad Of J&A.

How did it all go so wrong? Why did their love, once as strong as a damp tissue, whittle itself down to nothing. Surely no couple were ever more likely to last forever; a match weaved through a mesh of vanity and bad taste. What’s more concerning is that the press seem to think anyone […]

My core strength.

Over the last few weeks I have gently eased out of running and slid almost effortlessly into high intensity workouts. I have paused to soak up your indifference to this news. Why should you be interested anyway? No doubt you have adopted your own methods of keeping trim at home and if you haven’t done […]

One out, one in.

There’s a sign outside my local Co-Op that slurs “ONE IN ONE OUT”. That’s it, just that and all the other well intentioned yet ineffective social distancing crap that shops around the land have had to employ over the last 4 months. Aisle arrows and patronising Tannoy announcements, that kind of thing. But that little […]

J K Rowling And The Furnace Of Opinion.

What if I were to buy a pair of flippers and put them on? What if I were to then shake my arse about on a regular basis and adopt a diet of frozen peas and bits of stale bread? What if I decided to communicate orally solely through a series of quacking noises? What […]

Shit list.

Finding myself with no ideas I thought the best way to come up with something to write about would be to type ‘things to write about’ into a familiar search engine and see what came up. There is something quite sad about having to resort to looking for ideas from other writers who you would […]

Rotting in the sun.

On the M25, as I drive home, a dead dog has appeared. It lies just next to the fast lane and while it may possibly be a deer I’m almost certain it’s a dog. Laid out on its side, left legs raised up and belly exposed to the oncoming traffic it was a point of […]

The spaces between us.

So we’ll have to wait a few more days but at least by then we’ll know if the government have decided to ease the 2 metre distancing rule which hardly anybody is following anymore, and that’s working on the assumption that they ever did. It’s a big decision, except that when you think about it […]

Liable to make you drowsy.

Last night we finished watching a drama about the Salisbury poisonings. It was called ‘The Salisbury Poisonings’, which in a way tells you roughly how exciting it turned out to be. I’m not a great one for TV drama because most of those that I have watched over the years either tend to be pretty […]