Typical. But not as we know it.

Yay! There’s going to be a royal wedding. Yay! How exciting. Yay! Hooray! And what makes it even more brilliant is the way that we’re going to be leaked all kinds of hints and titbits, assumptions and lies about it for the next 6 months. The media will be scratching themselves and everyone else for […]

Better off dying in your sleep.

Sometimes material just can’t keep away. It runs towards, throws off its clothes and jumps all over you. 2 days ago a poll was released containing the top 20 UK breakfast TV presenters, as voted for by the readers of The Radio Times. Even if the list had been brilliant the poll would have been […]

Ad. Break.

We live in strange times. You can take from the news anything you like but you can also bet your bottom dollar, and the one next to it, that not a lot of it will matter. At the moment it’s basically a putrid soup of political mismanagement, tax dodging motherfuckers and a seemingly inexhaustible string […]

The Banality Of It All.

What annoys me most about the punk movement is not the stupid attire, the poorly aimed aggression and the empty, worthless polemic but the insistence from old punk rockers that punk changed everything. It didn’t. There was bad music before, during and after punk and if anything punk just made a lot more people seem happy […]

A touch too much.

I’ve just popped into the local Co-Op to pick up a few bits that may well have looked suspiciously like crisps and wine. The fact I was on my way back from the gym tells you a great deal about me. As I queued up I started to realise my ears were bleeding and I […]

Piss and biscuits.

I spent quite a bit of time in a care home recently. If you haven’t seen me of late then don’t worry, my mental and physical health hasn’t taken THAT much of a precipitous downturn that residency in a care home would be the most obvious option. Yet. No, I was visiting my mother in […]

Kitten update.

A little ditty. Nothing special. If anything a harmless love letter. As I write this my lap is home to more than a computer. Between the electronic device and a gut that has ballooned slightly after a grim 5 days observing dementia in action in Dundee sits a very quiet little kitten. Just to fill […]

What a life!

Sometimes I wish I could be a cartel member. What a life that must be. Imagine a life where your every waking hour is spent in the numb pursuit of supplying drugs. More realistically I expect most cartel members have relatively little to do with supplying drugs and much more to do with all the […]

Last Chance Harvey.

Oh dear. Oh deary, deary me. We’ve seen some spectacular falls from grace in the spotless world of entertainment but this is notable just as much for its velocity as its magnitude. Until last week Harvey Weinstein was just an oily, grasping Hollywood mogul who came across as a good candidate for chief adviser to […]

Because someone created bullsh*t.

Ah, ‘The Apprentice’. Don’t you just love it? I do. In fact of all the mildly addictive reality/competition/life wasting programmes on the telly it’s almost certainly my favourite. I can’t be bothered with baking enough to truly like ‘GBBO’ and I wouldn’t touch any of it’s derivatives with a barge pole (that sewing sh*t springs […]