Little Miss Fluffy Knickers Strikes Again.

It would be fair to say that ‘the cat’ is a complicated creature. And a pain in the arse. She’s had a few scrapes in her time. She once reacted to me coming up the stairs by jumping face first straight into a closed door, which I thought was a reaction too far and not a […]

Alt-whatever.

I’m told it’s quite hard work being funny. Much easier to be serious. Last night on Channel 4 news we were treated to a really special piece on the rise of the ‘alt-right’ movement in the UK. This poor excuse for a streak of urine masquerading as a political movement was kick started in, you […]

Meaty, beaty, big and Beyonce.

Oh good, Beyonce’s got a couple of big, bouncing, bootyful buns in the oven. I’ve always thought that when your husband cheats on you, and then your sister violently attacks him in a lift, and then you release a massive albums worth of songs that ultimately serve as a bitter, angry attack on your life […]

Flowers and grapes all round.

FYI I wrote this before New Year but I’m also very lazy and have almost no self confidence. If only I could believe that 3 actual people might bother to read this. So here comes 2017 and for most of us it couldn’t come any quicker. That’s because most of us are assuming that 2017 […]

Yule never tide me over.

This is turning out to be a funny Christmas. Not funny ha-ha, not even remotely close – I haven’t laughed out loud, out of breath, stomach hurts, for quite a few consecutive days and that’s because the spirit of Christmas in our house is away at the moment and ‘the cat’, frankly, just couldn’t give […]

Sweet Child O’Mine

I’ve tried to not swear for this but I can’t help a little burst. I cannot emphasise enough how sorry I feel for anyone who has had or has cancer. This is not about cancer. This is about stupidity. I remember being rather annoyed when this story kicked off a while ago. Then I forgot […]

At the end of the day………

Back on the writing wagon, mojo inconsistent as ever, but here’s a go. Oh good, Christmas is coming. I remember a time when I used to love Christmas and though it would be easy to fill a word count with the historical clichés of a childhood Christmas I’m instead actually being deflected towards other people’s […]

Radio Poo.

This is some half-baked cobblers, but it will have to do. I have, after very little consideration at all, decided to put Radio 2 away. In a little box and buried far, far away from my ears, where it could hurt me most in the future. What people turn to for entertainment these days is […]

Newsround.

Noted bits in the news today. Also a cobweb dispersal exercise. Donald Trump won, which goes to prove that if billions of people say something won’t happen it doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t happen. It’s way too late (and very pointless) to riot now so let’s get on. Amongst his first moves he has decided that the ‘total […]

The land of the daft.

A word to the stupid, including myself. I started writing this 3 weeks ago and I still haven’t finished, and I don’t think I can. So it is what it is, and if you don’t like it then more fool you for reading past this point. This will not turn into a rant. A couple […]