Little Miss Fluffy Knickers.

There’s an April shower going on outside. I know this because I’ve just been caught up in it. I popped out to the local Co-op to get eggs and Fairy Liquid, to make what will be a pretty adventurous omelette. Sadly the rain outside is not my main worry. It’s drizzling a little bit in […]

The f***ing naughties.

It was never going to go my way. One the main reasons I was in favour of complete global collapse on New Year’s Eve 1999 was so that we could have avoided referring to the next decade as the noughties, like a bunch of giggling simpleton pricks. I’m not even that keen on people (particularly […]

Like I could give a brit(pop).

Aaahhh, the 90’s, weren’t they just great? Well, for lots of reason no, but let’s keep focused. My 90’s were pretty good overall, as long as I keep the multitude of embarrassing bits locked away deep down inside. It was this flashy decade that saw Britain really become GREAT again wasn’t it? What with everyone […]

Greaty 80’s

Forgive the title. It came up with it. I’ve had it for years. I bought it second hand but never bothered to give it a proper go, which is why this morning, as I went about my research, I put on ‘Sulk’ by The Associates. Not half bad really and I never knew they did […]

70’s Rule.

A (welcome?) diversion from the usual, because I have to be positive about something. I started this as a little indulgence on my favourite albums of all time. Then I realised that almost all of them were from the 70’s. Then I went to the shops for some ridiculous curry ingredients we’ll only use once […]

Channel Tunnel Vision.

It’s probably just me. I would have thought most people have meaningful things to do with their lives rather than sit whinging at the TV like a simpleton recreating ‘Gogglebox’ without the cameras. Normally ITV would occupy the bottom spot on my list of crappiest big TV channels but recently they have somehow managed to […]

Floater in a tin can.

Do you believe in second chances? Generally I don’t think much of them, unless I’m on the receiving end, in which case I should be forgiven far more often. I only mention this because a second chance was offered to me on a plate today and if you’re reading this then you are quite literally […]

I get knocked down. Good.

One of the great frailties of the mind is the subconscious ability to pick up on a tune from nowhere and then run it round your head a million times until it’s marginally less enjoyable than being water boarded. With piss. It doesn’t even matter if it’s an absolute belter of a tune, sooner or […]

Fitter, Brighter, Brit-er, Shitter.

I wanted to do this last year. In fact I did start one last year, which I might publish in unedited form just to see if it works. If I remember rightly the core was a blast at Sheeran and Sam Smith. Because they’re both a bit shit. Actually, sorry, Sheeran’s a bit shit and […]

Reflections on a shitty week.

I have been ill all week. I picked up a cold at the end of last week, just as I was about to have a week off and it has stayed with me ever since. We have, in that time, been to France and on a 2 night spa/hotel break (both lovely experiences) and I […]