Saturday night at the movies.

The Odeon cinema complex in Hatfield has one major flaw, which is that it is in Hatfield. Put it almost anywhere else other than, say, Basra airport, and I’m sure the experience would be lifted. In fact that is an insult to Basra, its airport and its people because Hatfield does seem to attract some […]

Wee and flaxseed.

Who needs a detox? Me, apparently. The first thing to say is that I am sufficiently weak minded to both need a detox and to be talked into doing one. That is a given. Unfortunately the fact also remains that I am weak minded enough to struggle to stick with a detox and it is […]

Harry and Meghan: stars of the screen.

Because the world has nothing better to be doing it has been announced that Harry and Meghan, the Mr and Mrs of Need No Introductions, have signed what is doubtless a very lucrative deal with Netflix. I imagine the negotiations were a barrel of laughs with Harry nervously twiddling his thumbs as Meghan, wearing a […]

A Day In The Life: The Celebrity Antiques Dealer.

You wake up early as a grey light outside uncoils itself to work. Despite living in a small 2 bedroom terraced house on the edge of Stow-On-The-Wold you always insisted that you must sleep in an 18th Century French mahogany four poster bed, and it is this which dominates your sleeping quarters to the extent […]

On Hurricane Laura.

Hurricane Laura is coming. To be more accurate Hurricane Laura is here, if by here you mean there and if by there you mean Louisiana, one of the more delightfully named US states. Hurricanes are always given names, perhaps to make them seem more human, but also because saying you survived Hurricane 3772F doesn’t have […]

Tool Britannia.

Last night I had some very strange dreams indeed. I think my mind is starting to readjust to the looming spectre of having to live in what someone else has decided to call a ‘new normal’; sharpening itself so I can sharpen myself in turn. There’s nothing to get you on your toes quite like […]

Driverless or brainless.

It’s the question that’s been on everyone’s lips all year, the question that has consumed our every waking hour and filled our dreams at night. It is a question that needs an answer and the answer has become a holy grail for as many as 17 people globally. And that question is…….? Will we find […]

Wherefore art thou, Gavin?

Oh, Gavin. You twat. Like most people who have proper lives I only heard about Gavin Williamson when he managed to hustle himself into the job of Defence Secretary a couple of years ago, judging that Theresa May was at that point so weak she would have let Peter Sutcliffe fill the role if it […]

Fabulous feathery buttered nuts.

If you haven’t seen it already then I think you’re in for a treat. In an age where overhype is apparently the only viable form of cultural currency, all that we usually get in exchange is disappointment, and that leaves us cynical, disillusioned and worst of all with lower standards. Praise be then, to ‘The […]

A big bunch of burnished balls.

If there is one sport that could easily have continued as usual this year, albeit without an audience, then snooker would have been a contender. There’s enough space and very few reasons for any contact whatsoever; the players literally have sticks to keep themselves away from each other. Only one person touches the balls most […]