Bog standard.

Where was I? Oh yes, Bob Dylan. I’m going to use him and some other bits to prove that culture just isn’t pulling its weight anymore. I had some great things I wanted to say about Bob Dylan yesterday and now I’ve forgotten most of them. I was also going to compare him to Ed […]

The Wrong Good Friday.

As you must have expected I’m not going to spend my Good Friday watching church services followed by some lame biblical epic from the early 60’s with Charlton Heston as God and Tony Curtis as Jesus and Sidney Poitier as Pontius Pilate. With Marilyn Monroe as the Virgin Mary. And so on. If they still made films […]

Christos aneste! Apparently.

At no point in history, or at least since AD 33 (give or take), has Easter been less relevant. That’s my assertion anyway. People may be griping about other people using religion as a weapon these days but let’s not forget that religion has always been used, in most cases as first port of call, as a weapon since […]

You call this work?

I’ve been distracted recently. Things have been busy, my mother-in-law is staying with us and I’ve just embarked on a journalism course which even in its infancy is turning out to be a lot more hard work than I’d bargained for. Even harder work than my mother-in-law staying with us. It’s especially tricky (the course) […]

I have him in my sights, sir. Take the shot.

Spoiler alert – despite my best efforts this post contains some profanity and scenes of an adult nature. Ooo wa, ooo wa, ooo wa, ooo wa, I’m in love with your body. Sweet Jesus. Am I the only person that thinks Ed Sheeran is a load of crap? I can’t be, surely. I mean he’s […]

Come in number 9.

Obituary – Miss Fluffy Knickers (2001ish – 2017). The house is in mourning following the predictable yet merciful passing of ‘the cat’. One of the greatest yet most sorely misunderstood cats of her or any generation she remained a mystery, enigma and total pain in the arse to her last breath. Miss Fluffy Knickers (or […]

Little Miss Fluffy Knickers Strikes Again.

It would be fair to say that ‘the cat’ is a complicated creature. And a pain in the arse. She’s had a few scrapes in her time. She once reacted to me coming up the stairs by jumping face first straight into a closed door, which I thought was a reaction too far and not a […]

Alt-whatever.

I’m told it’s quite hard work being funny. Much easier to be serious. Last night on Channel 4 news we were treated to a really special piece on the rise of the ‘alt-right’ movement in the UK. This poor excuse for a streak of urine masquerading as a political movement was kick started in, you […]

Meaty, beaty, big and Beyonce.

Oh good, Beyonce’s got a couple of big, bouncing, bootyful buns in the oven. I’ve always thought that when your husband cheats on you, and then your sister violently attacks him in a lift, and then you release a massive albums worth of songs that ultimately serve as a bitter, angry attack on your life […]

Flowers and grapes all round.

FYI I wrote this before New Year but I’m also very lazy and have almost no self confidence. If only I could believe that 3 actual people might bother to read this. So here comes 2017 and for most of us it couldn’t come any quicker. That’s because most of us are assuming that 2017 […]