Rocky road.

So many things to discuss and so little time. Record deaths, ditched exams and the sudden departure of a couple of dodgy rodents from the murkier corners of Downing Street should all warrant a few paragraphs each, but I have other things on my mind; specifically a bunch of rocks. Because that’s all Stonehenge is: […]

Across the pond life.

It’s a bit like when you play a game as a kid and you’re not a great loser and you lose the first time and your immediate response is to suggest a ‘best of three’. That’s what they should do in the American election. Just let Trump keep calling another round until he gets his […]

Culture fix.

Almost every Saturday Review section of The Times has a feature called ‘My Culture Fix’ in which someone related to the arts answers questions about their, er, culture fix. Depending on which branch of the arts we’re talking about the answers can be illuminating, tedious or, much worse, very farty. You can usually tell if […]

Not the best day.

I’m in a foul mood today. A real stinker. A full up dump trunk funk of the highest order. You wouldn’t want me round your house on a day like today; I’d only blacken the mood and then you might not invite me again. Today feels like a new low in a year of lows […]

Pity the poor white celebrity.

I gave up on Comic Relief quite some time ago. To be honest it was never really very good. Good if you’re a nice person with no proper sense of humour, who is scarily easy to entertain, but not much good to anyone else. I wrote out many of my thoughts on Comic Relief a […]

Flossing with Shane McGowan.

This week Wifey has been drawn into a programme on ITV about Beluga whales. Of course it’s not really about Beluga whales, it’s about John Bishop, because why else would you think of Beluga whales? If it was really about Beluga whales then it could be presented by me, or you, or indeed anyone else […]

Stale bread.

The general mood of my recent existence has been about as buoyant as a heavy stool. There is too much to worry about and too much to do, not to mention additionally worrying about all those things there are to do and the way that one has to do them without risking ones own life. […]

A bitter Gill to swallow.

Actually I’m not really that bitter. There must have been plenty of good competition, and there is also always the chance that I am either way ahead of, or more likely way behind, my time. Still, I thought my entry to the Sunday Times AA Gill Food Writing competition wasn’t half bad; better than last […]

Rats Life.

Magawa is a hero. He wasn’t born that way. Little did he know as he suckled on his mother’s teats that one day he would be regarded as a saviour. An angel of mercy. A preventer of untimely death. It is to heroes like Magawa that we must tip a respectful hat and thank for […]

Brighton breezy.

You simply must go to Brighton, you’ll have such fun. Oh, we love Brighton! That’s what they say, isn’t it? Goody two-shoes Brighton, couldn’t get it wrong if it tried. Happiest place in Britain to live, apparently. Except for the homeless and grim of face; they didn’t look too happy, and there were more than […]