The trappings of tourism.

I’ve scurried inside. The sun must have crept up a bit closer in the night and hid behind a Renault Megane around the corner because outside it’s positively in your face and ten minutes was enough because I just want a morning off slapping sun lotion everywhere. So I’m in the hotel lobby listening to […]

Big city blues.

Barcelona is a big place. Bigger than I thought and it serves very well the fundamental rule of tourist mistakes (of which ‘the wife’ and I have committed almost all you could suggest) that cities should never be tackled in the heat. As I understand it Britain almost exploded on Thursday with temperature records ‘tumbling’ […]

Oh I do like to be…

Some holiday ramblings. Take ’em or leave ’em. So here we are, Lloret De Mar, Floret De Mard, Grande Plaige De La Plume De Ma Tante. It’s not even French but France isn’t too far away: a sickly sweat fest on the Med with as much to recommend it as to send you sprinting with […]

Universal boredom.

Apparently Lewis Hamilton is not a happy man. He’s complained about the fact that this Sunday sees a clash of sporting events – The Cricket World Cup, The Wimbledon men’s final and The British Grand Prix. I expect he wants to look like he’s championing the sporting viewer but in reality he just wants as […]

Ever decreasing.

This is what condensation looks like. Sitting in a room looking around at the condensation of a life. A life whittled down to the barest bones, you’d think, but really there could and will be a bit more whittling to be had. Though that would be a new level of ruthless. The day will come, […]

Depends how you look at it.

We live in a golden age of TV. We must do because that’s what we’re always being told. This is ground breaking television, that’s a feast for the senses, the other’s the best programme ever. Trust me when I say that the best programme ever is never ever the best programme ever. Never, never, ever, […]

What it says on the tin.

I wouldn’t say I’ve had writer’s block but I do have to admit I ain’t wrote much or nuffink lately. The last thing I posted was written a few months prior and, since you ask, it definitely didn’t win that competition. That honour went to some magnolia puddle called Kitty and, since you also ask, her […]

Burton G: Must Try Harder.

Well, I guess they would have been in touch by now. If they’d have really liked it Ms Gill would have popped over for tea or Jeremy Clarkson would be doing doughnuts in a souped up Maserati at the bottom of my road while The Doobie Brothers blasted from his stereo; the knock-kneed, dentists nightmare […]

On John Bonham.

Here’s a few jokes about drummers (that I’ve copied straight from some crap website): What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted. What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? One will mature and make money. An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall […]

No choice at all.

Yesterday, or was it the day before, I was shocked, yet thrilled to the core, to learn that the ever growing list of Tory leadership candidates would be joined by Mark Harper. Brilliant I thought to myself, he’s just the kind of young (ish), hard working, driven politician we need running this country; surely if […]