Of mice and man (and cat and woman).

I expect you’ve been wondering about Miss Hairy Mary Miyagi. If you haven’t then you should be ashamed of yourselves. I said last time I would write about something positive and so I am. My love for Hairy Mary is beyond measure and equalled only by my love for ‘the wife’, who doesn’t scratch as […]

Good riddance doesn’t even come close.

One of the other subjects I wanted to write about before abortion in Alabama swept me away was The Jeremy Kyle Show. Of course it was! If there’s a place to splash bile all over something very deserving it’s here, and equally if there’s a something like The Jeremy Kyle Show just sitting about then […]

Not so sweet home.

Includes disturbing words and stuff. Just so you know. You have to worry about humankind sometimes. We try to project ourselves as some kind of super species and yet we are capable of burning up every ounce of potential we have in selected moments of utter backwardness. Take, for instance, the ruling in Alabama that […]

Adventures in Norn Iron.

I wonder how many people under the age of, say 21 would have a clue what you were on about if you asked them about ‘The Troubles’. For the past 21 years Northern Ireland has enjoyed (not really enjoyed but it’s better than what came before it) a supremely delicate peace, a peace in the […]

Oh Danny. Oh Boy.

A few days ago I finally got round to watching the latest ‘Avengers film’ and I won’t feel embarrassed when I say it was very good and very satisfying and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I may be a snob when it comes to certain corners of our cultural box but I’m not sorry to admit […]

A pig would send this breakfast back.

I didn’t vote in the local elections. Did you? Not that I mind either way, why would I? It’s not as if I’m the type to judge people without having all the facts. If you did vote then I totally understand – you wanted the politicians to know exactly how you feel about Brexit and […]

Do or DIY.

If the mark of a man is to be handy then I am no man at all. If we talk pure hypothetical and I advertised myself as a handyman and you called me and showed me all the work you needed doing and left me to it for a day then at the end of […]

HE IS RISIBLE.

To be perfectly honest I was going to give my annual Easter message a miss this year. They never seem to do much good. However, last weekend I found my hand being filled by a small leaflet explaining, with the help of a multitude of biblical evidence that “GOD IS SPEAKING through HIS SON Jesus Christ […]

Writing about writing about eating.

Well, I got there in the end. I sent in my competition entry with a day to spare. Now what I can’t do is post that entry here because it is a competition for unpublished work, so if I showed you I’d then have to kill you, which might get complicated. Not least because I […]

Shoot, shoot. Bang, bang.

I’m trying to work on something for a competition at the moment, but I’m struggling to find the suitable levels of inspiration. Sometimes you have to know what you want to say and unfortunately I’m still not sure what I want to say, which is a distinct disadvantage. So here’s a load of crap about […]