Care Home Christmas.

At the time of writing this I am sitting in a care home bedroom. If anywhere needs the spirit of Christmas to work a treat then it is the collected bedrooms of every care home across the land. Though even then the spirit of Christmas would end up fooling no one except, well, the spirit […]

I Can’t Dance.

We were out for most of the day yesterday. But most of the day clearly wasn’t enough, because when we got back Strictly Come Dancing was still on, and that was a shame. Wifey has been typically consumed by it this year, but has been accommodating enough to watch it on catch-up and usually only […]

Christmas with Mel Gibson.

I have decided after many seconds of consideration that Lethal Weapon is my favourite Christmas movie. At this time of year, every single year, we get treated to some unimaginative and samey list of the best ever Christmas movies (or “of all time”, as if to suggest that some of the movies made in the […]

Jesus Christ Almighty?

I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus lately. It’s probably why I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks – driven to distraction by Jesus. Surely it’s happened to us all at some point. Oh come on, you must have heard of Jesus! He was only around for thirty odd years but in that short […]

Plastic and crabs.

They call it “the Great Pacific Garbage Patch”. Not that it really needs or deserves proper noun status. It is great because of its size, not because it is great, and the people who call it that are probably limited to the small collective who spend most of their time staring at it from the […]

Omicronimous.

Do you want your Christmas saved or not? Do you want to go to a Nativity play this year? Well, do you? Just answer the question: yes or no? Because if you do then you’d better listen very carefully to the following messages. First up is that we’ve been invaded again, this time from the […]

That’s meditation.

Note to consumer: This mindfulness meditation guide is not affiliated with any internationally, nationally or locally recognized mindfulness meditation body or organisation and any positive mindfulness or meditative benefits you might experience from it are purely coincidental. To extract the very highest level of inner peacefulness from this exercise you should read it very slowly […]

A snot of bother.

I’ve been semi out of action for the last week or so. I’ve functioned on some levels but not on others, and that’s because I’ve been ill. All that mask wearing and avoiding people means our immune systems are shot to shit and so now that we have some ‘supercold’ (or is it super-cold, or […]

A stroke of luck.

Hastily written, before fact becomes myth, and the myth gets printed instead. In other words: badly written. You know what it’s like. Winter driving. Don’t you? Everyone tends to forget how to drive in the dark and so they get cautious or they get dangerous. Slow or sloppy. So now the clocks have gone back […]

Pets at home. or not.

Just imagine being a lockdown dog. At first it must have been a thrill. Those dogs must have felt so special, so loved. I bet they didn’t even realise how expensive they’d started to get; stupid humans paying stupid money for a pet they thought they couldn’t possibly live without. Of all the pets you […]