Plastic and crabs.

They call it “the Great Pacific Garbage Patch”. Not that it really needs or deserves proper noun status. It is great because of its size, not because it is great, and the people who call it that are probably limited to the small collective who spend most of their time staring at it from the […]

Omicronimous.

Do you want your Christmas saved or not? Do you want to go to a Nativity play this year? Well, do you? Just answer the question: yes or no? Because if you do then you’d better listen very carefully to the following messages. First up is that we’ve been invaded again, this time from the […]

That’s meditation.

Note to consumer: This mindfulness meditation guide is not affiliated with any internationally, nationally or locally recognized mindfulness meditation body or organisation and any positive mindfulness or meditative benefits you might experience from it are purely coincidental. To extract the very highest level of inner peacefulness from this exercise you should read it very slowly […]

A snot of bother.

I’ve been semi out of action for the last week or so. I’ve functioned on some levels but not on others, and that’s because I’ve been ill. All that mask wearing and avoiding people means our immune systems are shot to shit and so now that we have some ‘supercold’ (or is it super-cold, or […]

A stroke of luck.

Hastily written, before fact becomes myth, and the myth gets printed instead. In other words: badly written. You know what it’s like. Winter driving. Don’t you? Everyone tends to forget how to drive in the dark and so they get cautious or they get dangerous. Slow or sloppy. So now the clocks have gone back […]

Pets at home. or not.

Just imagine being a lockdown dog. At first it must have been a thrill. Those dogs must have felt so special, so loved. I bet they didn’t even realise how expensive they’d started to get; stupid humans paying stupid money for a pet they thought they couldn’t possibly live without. Of all the pets you […]

Tripbadvisor.

SORRY – WE CAN NO LONGER ACCEPT REVIEWS FOR THIS ACCOMODATION. Villa Morales Soberbio. 2.5/5 Stars. Tom Conti. Posted: 13.08.2021. Oh dear. Arrived to find the place swarming with workman and flies. Apparently, Sr Morales is in a spot of bother and there was no sign of his wife either. The pool looked like it […]

The famous and the dead.

What was Alec Baldwin thinking? I mean, he only went and fired a gun because someone told him he could, the silly sod. There is surely some form of irony tinkling away when a massive celebrity story hits the news and it turns out to be about someone in America being shot by accident. I […]

Adele’s Fourth movement.

If you’re a music lover of a certain persuasion you will doubtless be touching yourself frantically in anticipation of the huge drop scheduled for this Friday. In a way it’s a shame it’s not a Friday the 13th as that would offer some additional poetry to the occasion, but as far as everything else is […]

Suited up.

I wrote almost all of this sitting in the car in a queue for petrol at half five this morning. The wait wasn’t worth it because the petrol wasn’t there. But at least I got this done. Silver linings. Unless you think it’s crap. But then more fool you for reading it. It feels like […]