On gentle Pip’s little dilemma.

When someone told me the breaking news I must confess I wasn’t too surprised. Phillip Schofield turning out to be gay can hardly have been responsible for many dropped coffee cups this morning, let alone jaws; indeed, it is almost the opposite of news but in this strange little world we live it has become […]

On why rugby doesn’t matter.

I like to think of myself as a reasonably patriotic chap, but there is a point at which I draw the line, rather than cross it. Last weekend France presented England with a ‘shock’ defeat in their opening game of the 6 Nations and I found myself actively not caring. Worse, in fact – good […]

Mercenary territory.

Mercenaries don’t usually get to leave a legacy. Instead they tend to leave a big bar bill and bodies on the floor. However, personally, I don’t really see the problem with mercenaries: if you’ve spent years risking your life for money in the name of the country you love how better to extend and profit […]

Mexican beer virus v Mrs Brown’s Boys.

I’m not sure what’s worse – the coronavirus or ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’. One makes me scared for humanity and the other is a life threatening virus. It sure is a topsy-turvy world. Let’s see what we can do with them. For a start if you’re going to make a virus sound nasty then you might […]

Burns Baby Burns.

The scene: darkness dropped hours ago and there is still much of the evening yet untested. A thin, steady straggle of unfortunately dressed characters filter into a damp church hall, the exterior sparsely lit by two bargain basement, and therefore insufficient security lights; insurance for the off chance there will ever be a day that […]

Dumb Donald’s Rump Pumps And Little Greta’s Hump.

Is it just me but does Davos seems like a very unattractive name – somewhere between a disabled Doctor Who villain, a Greek pimp and an industrial bleach – for anywhere, let alone a Swiss skiing resort. I’ve been skiing myself, quite a few times (no need for applause), so I feel I am abundantly […]

It must be a guilty pleasure.

It is, I would say, something of a welcome wonder that Sophie Ellis-Bextor has lasted so long. She must be admired for her survival skills and an ability to pop up just when you think she’s disappeared for the last time. Her popularity is not entirely inexplicable but it is still quite some task to […]

Out with a bong.

Just a quickie. Puff, puff. Pant, pant. Ding, dong. Who wants a bong? Go on, take a bong, you’ll feel better for it. A bong means different things to different people but it’s quite refreshing to have the word bouncing around the lower echelons of the news today. We’ve had pretty much a solid week […]

The joy of Janus.

January is my 12th favourite month. If there were 43 months in a year then January would be my 58th favourite. That perverse group of optimists and life coaches who say January should be a celebration of renewal and rejuvenation and revitalisation are chock full of shit and are probably already back on the crystal […]

What a pair of tossers.

Well I guess it was coming, sooner or later. I actually thought they couldn’t get any more self-centred but off they go again, Mrs and Mr Sussex, splashing their seaside caricature faces across the papers and websites, smiling outside as they seethe with resentment within; a confused kind of resentment that only the spoiled rotten […]