Sound of mind and body.

A hastily conceived mashup of ideas that can only be posted today. For better or (more likely) for worse. Today is/has been World Mental Health Day. In case you were worried that you should have been doing something about it let me be the first to sooth your furrowed brow. You didn’t need to lift […]

Your review counts.

Hasty, hasty, writey monkey. Last month we celebrated Wifey’s 21st birthday (ballpark figure) and we finished a day of gathering and celebration at a restaurant called ‘Scoff and Banter’ in Bloomsbury. In all fairness the place did us proud and no one person was more responsible for that than a charming lady called Valentina who […]

Perhaps you’d like my opinion?

Another day, another care home for mother-in law. At least this one is quite plush, more like a golf hotel, only without the golf twats. They still can’t get rid of that smell though. What smell? Oh, you know, that smell. Everyone must have been to a care home by now, fuck knows there are […]

For Harry, in the loft.

How much do you know about hippos? Come on, don’t be shy, the answer can’t be nothing, surely. Surely you must know at least one thing about hippos. There should be a law or something that says everyone needs to be armed with at least one cast iron hippo fact by the time they reach […]

Is it that time already?

It’s the 3rd of October and I had to scrape ice off my car this morning. I mean, I know autumn has arrived but that’s taking the piss a bit. I should, naturally, be grateful; I should always be grateful, because I value punctuality very highly and in all fairness autumn has been super-on-time this […]

Maybe not so special anymore.

You know what? I think I’ve just about had enough of Prince Harry. He’s supposed to be the good one, isn’t he? He’s supposed to give the royal family a chance; make you think they’re worth having around. That they’ve still got that something special. It’s not as if there’s a lot of competition out […]

Fair game. Every time.

If we take it as a given that no reality/competition TV show can ever truly hold my fragile, pathetic attention then at least give The Apprentice a bit of credit for doing better than most. Strictly Come Dancing came and went pretty quickly because it’s just 2 people dancing again and again and again with […]

Try it, Greta, but it might not work.

I’m not really sure what to make of Greta Thunberg. I’m not sure I’m supposed to make anything of her at all; she’s not Lego. Besides, that’s Danish. Here’s 500ish words, in fewer minutes. She’s the mind of a sharp 58 year old intellectual trapped in the body of a feisty, bright, ever so slightly […]

Bless they/them.

I suppose you have to feel sorry for Sam Smith. He’s ever so confused. Perhaps we should set up a hotline. A help hotline just for Sam Smith. He’d call up whenever he’s extra confused and he’d be on the other end of the line because realistically only he knows how to solve his own […]

Home, bitter home.

Still waters run deep. That’s probably a fact. Behind every privet hedge and polished letterbox who knows what dangers lurk? Things are never quite what they seem and if you spend a lot of your life looking over your shoulder there’s probably a very good reason, though that doesn’t ever necessarily mean it’s your fault. […]