Try it, Greta, but it might not work.

I’m not really sure what to make of Greta Thunberg. I’m not sure I’m supposed to make anything of her at all; she’s not Lego. Besides, that’s Danish. Here’s 500ish words, in fewer minutes. She’s the mind of a sharp 58 year old intellectual trapped in the body of a feisty, bright, ever so slightly too serious for her own good 16 year old girl who, even at such a tender age, has already sacrificed her childhood on the altar of self-righteousness and wants everybody to know it. Bright and feisty has all the makings of an annoying kid but you can’t help admitting she has a very good point.
She made a suitably bright and feisty and damning speech (albeit a touch melodramatic) the other day at the UN climate change summit that I expect she hoped would be a game changer but that I also suspect won’t be. It was all twitchy left eye and cracky-voicy and fire and brimstone and I absolutely believed in everything she said. I believe we’ve ruined this planet and I believe that governments either can’t or won’t do anything about it, or even worse both. I suspect that the leaders of China and the U.S and plenty of other huge countries will nod and softly pat Greta on the head and then get back to farting out enough emissions to fill a black hole.
Naturally we should have all seen this coming and the fact that Donald Trump still denies climate change should only reflect on his own comically dullard mores. Anyone with half a brain can see it has to be true and anyone in a country like ours is equally complicit in its nature and delivery. We could all do more but, and let’s be honest here, we all know that putting that cornflakes box in the right bin and turning off the tap while we brush our teeth isn’t going to have any impact at all. Imagine if we just stopped flying. All of us, at once. Or banned driving. Yes, it would have a benefit for the environment but then we’d be plunged into an each-to-their-own Armageddon that isn’t really worth thinking about. Because we’re a selfish species.
I say go, go Greta, go, go. Go out there and keep chewing ears and putting selfish old politicians in the corner so they can think about what they’ve done. She’s right when she says that we’ve spoiled it all for the next few generations and I can’t see a lot happening that will perk up the planet quite like a shot of vitamins and an ice bath would to a body. We probably need a lot more rattle throwing, pink cheeked, breath holders working the circuit but poor Greta will never find the army that she needs because most of her core contemporaries are lost in a fog of empty media and self-obsession. Oh my, we’ve made a proper little pickle of this existence thing. And when I say little pickle I mean enormous, poisonous gangbang. I think Greta Thunberg has nailed it right on the head and well done to her, but I’m not sure I’d want to invite her round for drinks; she doesn’t come across as a lot of fun. And I’d feel bad if I left the fridge open by mistake.

 

G B Hewitt. 25.09.2019

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