Burton G: Must Try Harder.

Well, I guess they would have been in touch by now. If they’d have really liked it Ms Gill would have popped over for tea or Jeremy Clarkson would be doing doughnuts in a souped up Maserati at the bottom of my road while The Doobie Brothers blasted from his stereo; the knock-kneed, dentists nightmare […]

On John Bonham.

Here’s a few jokes about drummers (that I’ve copied straight from some crap website): What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted. What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? One will mature and make money. An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall […]

No choice at all.

Yesterday, or was it the day before, I was shocked, yet thrilled to the core, to learn that the ever growing list of Tory leadership candidates would be joined by Mark Harper. Brilliant I thought to myself, he’s just the kind of young (ish), hard working, driven politician we need running this country; surely if […]

Of mice and man (and cat and woman).

I expect you’ve been wondering about Miss Hairy Mary Miyagi. If you haven’t then you should be ashamed of yourselves. I said last time I would write about something positive and so I am. My love for Hairy Mary is beyond measure and equalled only by my love for ‘the wife’, who doesn’t scratch as […]

Good riddance doesn’t even come close.

One of the other subjects I wanted to write about before abortion in Alabama swept me away was The Jeremy Kyle Show. Of course it was! If there’s a place to splash bile all over something very deserving it’s here, and equally if there’s a something like The Jeremy Kyle Show just sitting about then […]

Not so sweet home.

Includes disturbing words and stuff. Just so you know. You have to worry about humankind sometimes. We try to project ourselves as some kind of super species and yet we are capable of burning up every ounce of potential we have in selected moments of utter backwardness. Take, for instance, the ruling in Alabama that […]

Adventures in Norn Iron.

I wonder how many people under the age of, say 21 would have a clue what you were on about if you asked them about ‘The Troubles’. For the past 21 years Northern Ireland has enjoyed (not really enjoyed but it’s better than what came before it) a supremely delicate peace, a peace in the […]

Oh Danny. Oh Boy.

A few days ago I finally got round to watching the latest ‘Avengers film’ and I won’t feel embarrassed when I say it was very good and very satisfying and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I may be a snob when it comes to certain corners of our cultural box but I’m not sorry to admit […]

A pig would send this breakfast back.

I didn’t vote in the local elections. Did you? Not that I mind either way, why would I? It’s not as if I’m the type to judge people without having all the facts. If you did vote then I totally understand – you wanted the politicians to know exactly how you feel about Brexit and […]

Do or DIY.

If the mark of a man is to be handy then I am no man at all. If we talk pure hypothetical and I advertised myself as a handyman and you called me and showed me all the work you needed doing and left me to it for a day then at the end of […]